Take the trip.
Just take it.
Stop finding every excuse not to.
There is always going to be something to hold us back from taking it.
Life can be exhausting.
There's more work to be done, laundry to fold, garages to be cleaned, paperwork to be organized.. the list will forever go on.
My life these last six months have been a complete whirlwind.
Not in the wrong way. Just a whirlwind.
Learning curve you may say.
Intertwined with hope, defeat and many many lessons.
I can not express how much they have blessed me but also have convicted my heart, taught me how to love endlessly and focus on what matters most.
Lessons about, life, selflessness, balance and much more.
I felt as if life was a weight sitting on my chest. Unfortunately, that weight was pressing significantly hard that I thought my chest was on the verge on collapsing. Every time I spoke, it was with hesitation.
I am clinging to the cliff of breakdown.
I headed south to sit on the beach for 72 hours. 72 hours. I would be back.
I found every reason to say no.
I have never flown by myself.
I love staying at home.
I am currently a mom of an 8-month old that I wasn't quite ready to separate from.
A three-year-old I cannot travel alone with.
I am nursing on command and have a low milk supply and can not seem to get him to switch to formula.
My parents need me.
My husband just started a full-time business and is overwhelmed with getting in the groove with running a business.
I have to make dinner every night.
The house is destroyed.
Our living situation is not typical at the moment.
Emails are piled high.
No time to stop.
If I stop, my anxiety skyrockets. Unbelievably high.
I fought it. Slept on it, repeated no.
Talked with my sweet friend who was kind enough to stop working on letting us run away.
Next thing I knew, this mama said I must go with tears in my eyes.
I booked a flight alone with an infant.
My husband and sister were saints to say,
"go we will take care of Montgomery."
So I did. The mama who wants life to go exceptionally smooth dropped everything at her feet and ran.
Most people said, "oh enjoy your vacation. That's fun!".
It wasn't about fun... it was about sanity.
Nobody sees my head or my heart.
My battlefield within my mind.
Let me tell you... I have real contentment in my heart right now. I have been home for 15 hours. The moment I walked in, I started cleaning my parents home, tidying as much as I could.
I soaked in the sun and spent selfless time with my baby that rescued me from deep hurt of losing three babies.
My cup has never been more full.
So, this blog is to tell you to TAKE THE TRIP.
Your single? Not married? TAKE THE TRIP.
You're married? Don't have children? TAKE THE TRIP.
You're a stay at home mum? TAKE THE TRIP.
You work sun up and sun down? TAKE THE TRIP.
I promise you will not regret it as your cup splashes over the edge.
With love and gratitude, Bay.
Specials thanks to; Ashtyn, Christopher and Brooke for making this all possible. I love you guys so much.