100 DAYS OF DUSTING
Where do I start?
I surpassed a hundred days without social apps on my phone.
But that wasn't it.
I passed it without personal opinions.
Without society's pressure...
Without covid updates...
Without the news...
Without any negativity, the world somehow now revolves around it. It is just wrapped up pretty with a lot of excuses and feel-good mantras.
I awakened a woman inside me that I had no idea lived there. I was waiting day after day to come alive. I imagined her in a pit looking in a mirror covered in dust. The dust consisted of many things. It was society's opinions; it was pressure, judgment, expectation, and self-sabotage. I paid no attention to her because I was busy.
I followed the same "hustle" schedule the world tells us to abide by.
I thought this was a success. The money was pouring in, the high demand, the self-recognition. All the things "success" stands behind.
So what was the problem? Why was it not enough? Was it me? Am I crazy? Many of us do not know how to take a rest period in the middle of the race. Why is that? Well, because selfishly, we all want to be first.
Nobody tells you that you receive more gratitude by helping someone else win, rather than standing on the podium with a trophy that collects the same type of dust.
Our time is of value. I wish I could say it is not measured.. but unfortunately, that is not the reality. Our time is measured, and when you waste endless minutes and hours scrolling keeping up with what everyone else is doing. You do yourself the biggest dissatisfaction by giving up your life day by day. The problem was the success was a distraction from things that need work, attention, and focus. It was taking away from the fruit life has to give. My success was built on a social platform, which I am forever grateful for.
So jumping off for a minimum of 100+ days seemed impossible.
HARD is an understatement.
I went through so many emotional battles.
First, it was FOMO (fear of missing out). I didn't want to miss a thing. I was merely sad.
Second, it was self-awareness. Did I find the most value in myself in the success of a picture of someone else? Mind-blowing.
Then it was pride and ego. Ultimately mine was shot down. Life moves on whether you're on the app or not. And if you're not on it, people find the next thing. That one hit my flesh. Bye, bye ignorance.
Next was anger. You think people are apart of your life. Shortly you realize because they only keep up with you on a social platform where you are relevant. If you're not posting your morning coffee, then you hardly hear from them anymore. As soon as I removed myself, I quickly realized the difference between those who watched as if I was behind a piece of glass. And those who showed up and checked in stay connected.
Finally came peace.
I found it. I found my breath. I found a voice. A STRONG VOICE.
I found her. I wiped away the dust in the mirror and revealed who was there.
The awakened one, Bay.